Communication isn't just saying how you feel.

By Oluwatomi Peters,        

Psychotherapist 

Communication isn't just saying how you feel.

It's also being willing to hear how the other person feels.

A healthy conversation isn't:

"Let me explain why I'm right."

It's:

"Let me understand why you feel this way."

You can express your hurt without attacking.

You can disagree without dismissing their feelings.

You can explain your perspective without making their experience invalid.

Sometimes, we listen only to find a chance to defend ourselves.

We're already preparing our response while the other person is still speaking.

But being heard is important and so is learning to hear.

You don't have to agree with someone's feelings to acknowledge them.

"I understand why that hurt you" doesn't necessarily mean "I agree that I was wrong."

It simply means:

"Your feelings matter enough for me to listen."

Healthy communication requires two things:

The courage to express yourself and the willingness to understand someone else.

Because communication isn't about winning an argument.

It's about creating understanding.